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Question: Gays and lesbians: how would you feel if your partner came out as bi?

(Posted by: Meredith Loves Two on 2010-01-26 13:54:00)

I'm straight and I dated a "straight " guy for over three years (we were even living together at this point) before he came out to me as bi. He hadn't been hiding it from me, he just didn't know before. Now, I have a bunch of bisexual friends (talking to them is what made him realize it, actually) and I have no problem with bisexuality. He and I are still together and we're happy. But what if you were dating a "gay " person who later told you (s)he was bi? Would you stay with him/ her? Straight people can answer too! Bisexuals and pansexuals can answer too, of course, I just feel like your answers would probably be warped. =D

Posted by: cupcake <3 on 2010-01-26, 14:30:44

I would still date them if they still wanted to continue dating. i have broken up with a guy upon my realizing my being lesbian and actually having no sexual feelings for guys. if their comming out as bi is a way of them saying they arent attracted to me because their sexual orientation, then i would respect that. if they still wanted to continue dating, then my finding out they are bi wouldnt effect me in anyway. finding out that they are bi wouldnt make me any more or less atracted to them. orientation doesnt matter as much as general attraction does.

Posted by: Danny on 2010-01-26, 13:58:28

Yeah i would. Love is what makes a relationship what it is, not lust!

Posted by: Butters on 2010-01-26, 13:59:05

I would say "shit, lets go get a woman and have a 3 some! "

Posted by: Cameron on 2010-01-26, 14:00:09

I would be fine with them being bisexual. Just as long as they don't cheat on me with someone else of either gender

Posted by: charlotteschmarlotte on 2010-01-26, 14:00:59

As long as they still wanted to be with me I wouldn't care at all. Maybe I'd be a little worried that, seeing as though this is new discovery of theirs, they may be wanting to experiment with other people.

Posted by: Lisa K on 2010-01-26, 14:03:16

As with others... not a problem... but as with my partner... it was out on the open right away... none of this "Surprize... guess what " that's not communicating... communicate right away... no surprizes down the road are better then... O I forgot to tell you....

Posted by: Italian Bi :) on 2010-01-26, 14:03:51

Yeah I would stay with them. I mean I love the person for being themselves around me. If they were to keep this from me for a long long long time I'd wonder where the trust is. If they told me it's okay because I'm very open minded (: You are probably shocked and that's a natural response. Now if they were gay and now bi and trying to have another relationship with the other gender at the same time...that's a no-no :p *hugs

Posted by: Monty B on 2010-01-26, 14:04:16

As expected I'm bi so my answer is warped to not giving a damn :P But it's nice to know you are accepting I've met so many girls who have said they wouldn't date a bisexual guy (unsurprisingly most guys didn't seem to have problem dating a bisexual girl!)

Posted by: galaxy9871 on 2010-01-26, 14:09:32

I usually date bisexuals so no problem.

Posted by: Pittsburgher - Mateo el ateo - on 2010-01-26, 14:12:42

Actually...I hide that I'm bisexual from my gay friends and straight friends. No one understands it, my best friend doesn't think it's real...how can I come out as bi? I like guys more than girls so I just say I'm gay. It makes my life easier. I'm starring this question because I'm into someone right now and almost had to out myself 2 nights ago because someone brought up a girl I like and our history together. I just played it off as a cover up in high school but I still like the girl, but I know it would never work out.

Posted by: Sha on 2010-01-26, 14:15:13

I would be disappointed being perfectly honest. If my partner told me that she wanted to be with a man I would not accept it. If I knew from the start that she was bi that would be different. Had a best friend who found out the hard way that her partner was bi when she came up pregnant. I unfortunately was the one who answered the phone that day and all I heard was someone sobbing on the other end of the phone. They stayed together for 2 years after the birth of their son, yes my friend did accept the baby as theirs but sadly they are not still together and her partner did actually marry a man and have another child. (did i mention they were together for 4 years when it happened ?)

Posted by: Black Rose Plays Dress-Up on 2010-01-26, 14:15:59

I wouldn't care. I would prefer to date a lesbian over a bisexual not because I think bisexuals cheat more. I don't like men and I'd rather my partner not.

Posted by: Laura D on 2010-01-26, 14:19:46

I would feel real insecure because i'd be worried a man would try and take her away from me. but if i loved her i would put it aside just so i could be with her.

Posted by: yahooarefacists on 2010-01-26, 14:29:09

If you don't mind bi guy's, why don't you participate in his experimentation. He would love you forever if you did.

Posted by: shanicoral on 2010-01-26, 14:58:59

I am a straight female, and I would personally have no problem dating a bisexual male. The only issue I would have is them not telling me in the first place about their sexuality, and I would definitely question their reasoning behind lying. I know many ignorant people think that if they date a bisexual person then they are more likely to cheat... but I just think that is ridiculous. It should make no difference to your relationship that your boyfriend is bisexual.

Posted by: LoveIsSoBlindBaby on 2010-01-26, 16:17:14

If they knew themselves, I'd prefer they told me sooner rather than later, as it would show there's mutual trust in the relationship. However, having said that, I've told very few people that I'm bi, as I just hate having to deal with the whole "she's desperate/ greedy/ confused " thing, and get fed up trying to explain it. Also, despite having dated a guy for 4 months I didn't tell him I was bisexual, but then again we never really clicked as a couple, though we're still good friends. If it had been a serious relationship, I would definitely have told the person. Personally, I don't think sexual orientation is really the issue. People worry if their partner is bisexual they may leave them for/ cheat on them with someone of the opposite sex to them, but it's no more likely than it would be in any other relationship, (for example if a straight woman left a straight man for another straight man.) The only difference between bisexuals and gays/ lesbians/ straight people, is that bisexuals have the capability to love both men and women - it doesn't mean they're going to be less faithful to their partner.

Posted by: John on 2010-01-26, 16:26:57

I would dump her if i found out that she has been having relations with someone else on the side. I don't think it's smart to date bisexuals. I don't want her to be bringing home diseases for me to contract. No thank you.